


Ironically, Spiders

by Trickster_Angel



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/F, Fluff, POV First Person, Spiders, Stream of Consciousness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-14
Updated: 2015-02-14
Packaged: 2018-03-12 07:42:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3349142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trickster_Angel/pseuds/Trickster_Angel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>We're all afraid of something.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ironically, Spiders

**Author's Note:**

> Based off of [this post](http://obvious-fandom-reference.tumblr.com/post/110543884125/friend-of-red-jenny-i-love-that-every-inquisitor).

What a long day. It isn’t like I’m the busiest person in Skyhold. Well, maybe my advisors have me beat. I should give them a vacation. Who am I kidding? They’d all go have fun in the Free Marches somewhere, come back and Skyhold will have burnt down. We’d all be out in the snow, attempting to build an igloo. That’d be a sight. Dorian was always complaining in Emprise du Lion. Imagine him trying to build an igloo. Sera’d probably start a snowball fight. And we’d all play until we got tired. And we’d have no igloo because my advisors wouldn’t be there to make sure we made one. The Inquisition would fall apart without them. I need them so much.

Anyway, fighting red Templars makes a woman tired. How were that many hiding in the Hinterlands? It’s ridiculous. Why is this my job? Why’d I sign up for this? Well, Cassandra did hold a knife to my throat. And held me prisoner. She looked really hot while doing that. Her lips are really pretty.

Issala! You have a girlfriend. An amazing, intelligent, beautiful girlfriend. You can’t think these things.

That is true. I shouldn’t. But it doesn’t matter if I’m taken or not, that doesn’t change the fact that Cassandra is pretty.  

Well, that’s all well and good, but it’s late and I need to sleep. I think most everyone has gone to bed already. I can’t quite see from this balcony, but I think the tavern might be dark too. That’s always disconcerting. Sometimes the chargers are up partying until morning, especially if Bull and I fight dragons. And it gets really loud. And we drink that disgusting concoction of death until we can’t see straight. Last time I drank that, I woke up in the barn. That was a fun conversation with Blackwall. I can’t drink that much. Just can’t stay awake for it. I don’t know how they do it. I need sleep. Especially when I’m drunk.

Like, right now. Well, I’m not drunk. But I need sleep. Just gotta take off my boots, pull back the covers and-

What is that? What in the void is _that_? It’s a spider. It’s a giant spider. Who in the void put this huge-ass spider in my bed? It’s as big as my hand! At least. And it’s black. With little hairs. It’s so gross. Why is it in my bed?

 _Sera._ She knows I hate spiders. And she was mad after I didn’t let her kill that noble. The one who killed her friends. This is revenge.

I am going to feed her to this spider.

Who am I kidding? This monstrosity isn’t leaving this room alive. But it’s not like I can blast it with a fireball when it’s on my bed. I need to sleep here.

Oh, no. It’s moving. It’s coming towards me. No, go the other way. Get off my bed.

HOLY NEVER-ENDING VOID, IT JUMPED!! Where is it?! I don’t see it!

Wait, is that it? No, that one’s brown. THERE’S TWO OF THEM!! I’M GONNA KILL SERA!

That one’s on the floor though, so it’s gonna die a fiery death. Good bye, spider.

I missed! Where’d it go? Never mind, the floor’s on fire!

Ice spells are helpful. But where’d they go? I’m not staying here. I need high ground.

The desk!

The famed Inquisitor, Herald of Andraste, ugh, and leader of the Inquisition, treed by a spider. But it’s a big spider. Two big spiders.

Make that three! There they are. Why would Sera do this? It’s so mean. I don’t take her worst nightmares and make them a reality. At least I don’t think I do. Not intentionally. Won’t they just go away? I don’t want to be stuck on my desk for the whole night.

What’s that noise?

Oh, it’s the desk shaking. I’m shaking. I don’t want spiders in my room. I can’t kill them. I’ve never killed them. Back in the mercenary company, I’d always make my friends do it. I hate fighting spiders. Especially with Cole’s little comments. ‘So many legs.’ Scare us, why don’t you Cole?

It’s crawling closer. I don’t want to touch it. I don’t want to touch it. I don’t want to touch it. I don’t even want to be near it. Go _away_.

Well, that’s one burnt patch on the floor and one less spider. Now where are the other two?

That one’s still on the bed. Where’s the brown one? Please tell me it’s not near the desk. No, there it is. It’s by the stairs. Okay, I’m safe for now then.

What am I touching? It’s kinda prickly and hairy. Feels weird.

I don’t want to look.

I have to look.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

***

Josephine knew it was late. But there were still so many things to do. It seemed like her work was never done but she wanted the Inquisition to run smoothly. Sometimes that meant staying up late to answer that extra letter or three. It was worth the work to see how respected the Inquisition had become. That little project that had started with the three of them, Cassandra, and the Inquisitor had really taken off.

Skyhold was never entirely silent. People would always wonder about, getting drunk and doing foolish things. But when Josephine heard the sound of footsteps racing down the corridor, she knew something was wrong.

Her girlfriend, the Inquisitor Issala Adaar burst into the room, nearly taking the door down, eyes wide with fear. Josephine stood hastily, immediately walking over to the startled woman. She noticed the Inquisitor wasn’t wearing shoes. For Solas, that was normal. For her, that was odd.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, concern growing for her girlfriend.

“Spiders,” the Inquisitor said in a small voice, “There are giant spiders in my room. I can’t sleep there. I barely made it out.” Josephine wrapped her arms around her girlfriend and the Inquisitor did the same. The ambassador realized she was shaking. The poor woman.

“I touched one too. It was all hairy and gross.” She paused. “I really hate spiders.”

“We can clear them out,” Josephine promised.

“Can I stay with you tonight?” the Inquisitor asked pathetically. She looked at Josephine sadly. “I can’t go back to that room.”

“Of course.”  

The Inquisitor bent down and kissed her girlfriend’s cheek. “Thank you.” She looked back to the woman’s desk, which was covered in half-burnt candles and scattered papers. “Were you working?”

“Yes, but it is late, and I should sleep.”

“Then I’ll join you.” The diplomat smiled at the Inquisitor. Even in the dim lighting and with the signs of fatigue and fear on her face, Issala was so beautiful. Josephine knew she was a lucky woman. This certainly wasn’t how she expected the night would turn out. Still, somehow, Josephine decided, she was grateful to the spiders.


End file.
